Okay so its been forever...

I know I know. You don't have to tell me that I took a summer vacation from our blog as well. I will get back in the swing of things I promise! Just to catch a few things up...
1. Summer was wonderfully busy. Bahamas, Florida and staying home with Hailey!
2. Fourth grade is a blast! I have sweet kids and hopefully I am going to set up a class blog!
3. Hailey is growing like a weed and talking up a storm. She loves "water" and "outside".
4. God is totally blessing the youth group! We had 77 kids at our back to school cookout!!!
That will get you started...I will give you more later!!!

Chapman Family

My heart hurts so much as I write about this. When I heard about it yesterday tears immediately filled my eyes. I have heard it said so many times that even though we don't know them personally we feel like we do because of the fact that he has been a part of my life for so long. Its amazing that someone can enter our hearts through an avenue of music in such an intimate way. I remember being in high school sitting on my bedroom floor bawling my eyes out to His Strength is Perfect on one of those days where I felt the pressure of parents, school and friends and found that I could not meet everyone's expectations. I remember the sense of relief that flooded me as the words carved a place in my heart telling me that I didn't have to meet them.
Since then so many of his songs have spoken such truth, comfort and joy into my life. "How Do I Love This Woman?" was played at our engagement. "His Strength is Perfect" was played at my wedding. "Cinderella" was played for my husband this Valentine's day as I had Hailey meet him at the door in an oversized Cinderella dress with a sign that said "Dance with me Daddy".
Living as a part of the Nashville community makes you feel closer as well.
My heart hurts so deeply for him today. I cannot imagine the utter devestation that must be threatening to overwhelm him and Mary Beth. You know I have heard it said that Satan only attacks those who are making a difference. Not only are they making a difference here in the states, but they are breaking light into one of Satan's strongholds and one of the darkest countries, China. Oh, the truth that we have to rely on though that the grave has already been conquered! Death is swallowed up in victory! Jesus sits and weeps with them. He feels every tear that falls to the ground and yet he is not pacing the floor of heaven ringing his hands saying "Oh no, I wasn't expecting this. What now?" He stands in utter control and offers grace and peace in a situation where there is no grace or peace to be found.
Father God, be Lord to them. May Satan's attacks be banished from their family in the name of Jesus Christ! May they find in You their only strong tower! Their hope when no one else is there! Jesus, that seems to be the only word that I can pray, Jesus. Lord, may they feel the hope and prayers of all those they have ever encouraged. May it be so Lord! Amen.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was wonderful! I am so blessed to be the mother of the sweetest child I know ( i might be predjudice of course). I love spending time with her. I look forward to every moment that I have with her. When Jeremy and I found out we were having a girl it was such an exciting time of thinking that I had a friend for life who I loved more than I could ever imagine. We had an awesome morning at church and then a good lunch with family and friends.
Last night Jeremy and I got to go on a much anticipated ( and needed!) date night. We went and walked around the Aldridge Botanical Gardens, ate at Cheesecake Factory (which was AMAZING) and then went and watched "Baby Mama" which was hysterical. It was such a fun night just to spend with the man that I love more than anything. He also got me a new Beth Moore book for Mother's Day which I can't wait to read!

My husband

This is simply a post to say how much I adore my husband. It seems like at times I nit-pick him to death. Then I remember how blessed I am. He was at the altar yesterday during the family prayer time and I went, cuddled up next to him, looped my arm through his and settled into his shoulder. At that moment my heart felt such a peace. I literally almost sighed. This is my home. This is where my heart is. With this amazing man. I am so blessed by his love and his love for Christ. I shared this with him last night and it was almost like it warmed him from the inside out. We went to bed last night and he is not a cuddler he held my hand and we fell asleep just like that. I am so blessed.

Passion '08

Where do I even begin to tell about this weekend? This is my fourth Passion event and everyone has been absoluetly amazing but because of the journey that the Lord and I have been on lately it was even more awesome. First of all, just being in that type of worship is indescribable . There was such a spirit there of freedom and sincerity. The worship leaders from Passion have been so gifted by God to completely remove themselves from the equation and give students ( and student pastors) the ability to seek the face of God through music. The Lord speaks through many of the lyrics directly to my heart. At times, I had to stop singing and just listen because it was so overwhelmingly clear and I wanted to hear so perfectly what the Lord was sharing with me. Friday night Chris Tomlin led worship and as he sang the song about how God can move the mountains and then the next line swept all over me "My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save". So many times Jeremy and I worry about the teens and think about what it will take to get them to desire this relationship with Christ, but its not a worry. My GOD is MIGHTY to save! He is mighty to reach out to wherever they are and save them whatever is surrounding them! Praise the Lord!
Saturday afternoon was a huge time of healing in my life as well. The Lord really spoke to me that sometimes I carry guilt and hurt that is not mine to carry. There are things that we have no control over. Things that happen in our lives that we cannot fix or overcome. And the best part is I DON'T HAVE TO. The Lord knows my heart, he knows my concerns, he knows when bad things happen but that doesn't mean that I have to feel guilt over them. Just because it is bad doesn't mean that I made it bad. The world around us is fallen. Bad things happen and we cannot control them. The image that Louie gave is for us to kneel at the feet of the cross, with all the hurt and shame and guilt and look into the eyes of a Savior who has been on the cross and says to us simply " I know". To think that being hurt and crushed is something that Jesus identifies with and simply wants to love us through is so healing. To think that he smiles on us because we have dedicated our lives to him is such a sweet truth over me. What a blessing!
The last thing I want to leave with is the encouragement I received from one of the songs played called God of this City. It simply says, "You're the God of this City, You're the Lord of these people...and there is no one like our God!" The Lord painted a picture of Jasper in my mind with such a dark cloud surrounding it and just the beginnings of cracks of light shining through. The Lord has placed us here for a reason. Because He is God of this city and we have been sent here to declare his fame and his renown! All glory to God!

Just for fun...

We had some Easter pics made of Hailey and they turned out so sweet...these are some of the best...

This child can pose!

Happy Easter!

Is she not so sweet???

I just want to squeeze her!

Testing Time...in more than one way

This week is probably the quietest you will ever hear an elementary school. Standardized tests bring out the fear in teachers and in children. Its making me ultra sleepy this morning and especially since I don't have any kids until 10:30. Its a nice quiet break and the Lord seems to always provide quiet times when he knows I need to focus in on him for something. Many times I don't know what the something is but when I start in on my time with Him I usually realize why he provides the few minutes of stillness. This morning when I looked at the passage to read in the Bibly study I am doing (which is amazing by the way) I knew exactly why the Lord had provided such a still place for me. It was the passage about worry in Luke 12. Now I admit that at times I am a worrier. There are times when I want to fix everything, see that I can't and become quickly overwhelmed. The Lord has taught me so much about this in the past few months and today was just a continuation of that. Beth Moore said this in my study today...

"We're never going to overcome worry by eliminating reasons to worry. God wills that we overcome worry even when we are overwhelmed with reasons to worry."

That thought hit me hard today. I guess when I turn everything over to God I just expect the reasons to worry to disappear, but as long as we are here that will never happen. God just wants us to turn the worries over to Him. How many times have I told my kids "Don't worry about all that. You just do what you are supposed to and I will take care of everything else." Oh how I believe that God wants to speak that into our lives today! He wants to look at us just like I look at my students and remind us just to do what we know that we have to and to let Someone who knows more take care of everything else! That is such an awesome reassurance.

Heavy Mind

I know I haven't blogged in a while. Last week I was enjoying a luxry of the teaching career that we call Spring Break. I have to say that education does have its perks.
Today however, I have to say that my mind is heavy. Without going into detail, I need the Lord to do something major in my life. I don't know how or where but I need it and as soon as possible. I know the Lord knows the desires of our hearts and only wants what is best for us, I am just struggling in the waiting process. It seems like for everything that the Lord has been teaching me about faith and his perfect power is being put into action over these last few days. I know with all my heart that the Lord has been renewing and filling me and pouring out his words over me. I believe that he desires to be so much more than just "enough" for me and I can't wait to see what he does. I truly believe that he wants to do something amazing and I need to be prepared to give him all glory and rejoice like crazy when it happens. I serve a faithful God!

But...

I have to say that I am so thankful for this blog. It gives me a place of expression and even if no one reads it, it helps me sort through the thoughts that race about in my mind. I feel like I have so many things to say, but most importantly, I have a story to share. My current teaching situation is that I am filling in for a resource teacher who is out on an extended sick leave. I share my room with another Title teacher. Because it is Friday, my afternoon is empty and I was spending some time with Jesus reading my amazing book. I was so pumped about some of the insights the Lord was revealing to me that I could not wait to get on here and post about it. However, and older lady from church was subbing here today and stopped in to chitchat. I was frusterated and wished she would move on so I could finish reading. After we talked for a little while the other teacher returned and she started talking to him. Now I have noticed that this man was probably not a lover of Jesus no matter how often he used his name. I had intended to ask him about coming to the Easter play this weekend but as the lady was talking about practices it seemed perfect timing. I asked him to come and his immediate response was a resounding No. He said I don't do the church thing. In fact I am an aethist. It surprised me in some ways but he went on to say that he had been everywhere and he thought it was something people had made up because it was too depressing to think that this life was all there was. He said that the way people described heaven was like a bunch of people on LSD. I didn't say much other than I just wished he would come. He didn't seem like he wanted any discussion and I have learned that discussions are usually not the best way to go anyway. I will leave the tickets on his desk with a note telling him just in case he changes his mind.
Do I expect him to change his mind? Maybe. This is where I find the awesomeness of how practical Christ is. My devotions which I went back to were about faith, and how sometimes people who have so much in their backgrounds lose faith, but that at the first hint of faith Christ is willing to run to them. This is an excerpt from it....

"I am continually moved by Christ's willingness not just to meet us halfway, but, like the father of the prodigal to run the entire distance once we take the first step in his direction. The Word of God is filled with accounts of hopeless situations followed by that wonderful little word..."but"...
Dear one, Christ can't just do anything. Christ can do everything! Stop wondering if Christ can do anything in your situation and start believing Him to do everything glorious!"

In my lack of faith I could and already thought until the Lord convicted me, "He won't come this weekend. Don't bother." But this only shows my lack of faith! I don't believe that Jesus can do something for this man, I believe he can do everything!!!! Pray for him as well. I won't mention his name but the Lord is all too familiar with it I know!

The Fullness of Christ

My heart is overflowing as I type this today! I am reading the most amazing devotional book called "Jesus" by Beth Moore (who I love). Today's message was exactly what I needed to hear. She used the scripture about the transformation and that Christ wants to transform to us. That we can get so used to and comfortable with our view of Jesus that at times we lose what he is wanting to reveal to us about himself daily. The Lord spoke so clearly and sweetly to my heart this morning. I am usually very strong in the area of faith except for one certain area. I believe that the Lord will always provide but I always worry up until the exact moment that he does. I also believe that he will provide but I only believe him to provide enough. Today it was like the Lord pressed "Play" on the CD player and the song "Enough" by Chris Tomlin started playing in my heart. He desires to be MORE than enough for me. Not just to meet my daily needs but to EXCEED them. He wants to be immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine but I have to give him room to be! We have not because we ask not! When our faith only allows him to go so far he can't do all he wants. I have literally been hindering what the Lord wants to do in me by my lack of faith! What a realization!Praise the Lord for meeting us right where we need Him and carrying us so much farther! May each of you know today no matter what is going on that the Lord is MORE than enough!!!!

Sleepless Nights

Last night was one of the true joys of parenthood when my beautiful and lovely daughter chose to wake up about 12:45 and stay awake until 3 a.m. Its in those wee hours of the morning that my daughter seems to be crying for no aparent reason, that I chose to pray. There is nothing else to do as I rock 100 miles in my wonderful rocking chair. Sometimes I think the Lord uses that time to get my attention. It seems to happen on days when things have gone a thousand miles an hour and my time with the Lord slipped by the wayside. It seems like it might be His way of saying "Spend time with me...your schedule or mine?" I am not sure that all my prayers offered in a sleep induced stupor drowned out by helpless cries always make lots of sense but the Lord knows the intention of the heart.
We are preparing to really start talking about the Easter season with the teens. Its a time we hope that they reflect on how they are living and really measure it up to see if it is where they need to be. I worked with our worship band last night for close to an hour. They are coming a long way musically but I still worry about them spiritually. Pray for them to see what an integral role they play on Wednesday nights. Pray also for my sleep deprived husband as he preaches tonite with a low sleep tank.

A New Adventure

Hello!
So I have a dear friend named Kristin Clarke who has introduced me to so many new things in my life and this is the most recent! It seems the more sophisiticated version of Myspace and Facebook and more importantly is not blocked by the school filter! It also seems a very appropriate way to keep those dear to our hearts close to us even if it is not a physical closeness. This is one of the hardest parts about the life of a pastor, pastor's wife and pastor's child. There are times that I struggle with it and wish that we had the security of family and close friends within a few moments drive. We are developing friendships here, but it is not the same. It has definitely made us lean closer to each other. I am tremendously blessed with an amazing husband who is also my best friend. Because we have experienced so much together and had to lean so strongly on each other our marriage is stronger than I ever imagined.
No matter what the circumstances though, we are blessed. Our new church is an amazing place full of the presence of God and people who long to seek His face. My life has also undergone much of a spiritual transformation as of late. I went through a desert season in my spiritual life for much of last year, and in the few short months of this year so far the Lord has been renewing me and filling me in huge amounts. Its like He is making up for lost time and pouring more and more of Himself into me. Jeremy and I have been spending time every night together really seeking God's face and He is answering prayers daily!
Okay, that is alot of heavy stuff for a Monday! On to some more updates...
Hailey girl has had her first Alabama sickness experience. The peditrician who lives across the street came to our house (yes I know this is Jasper remember) and looked her over and dubbed her a "snot queen". Bless her heart. She is not letting it slow her down though! She has lots of new tricks. Daddy's current favorite is asking her "Where's Hailey?" and she puts her hands over her eyes and says, "Pie!" (the shortened version of peep- pie). It melts a daddy's heart. Although these days it doesn't take much.
Well enough for now. I promise I will be more consistent updating this than I have been with either Myspace or Facebook!
Lots of Love!